In vino veritas 25.06.2015
Here I am, writing this exact thing that I woved never to speak about again. In the interesting and fascinating state of "In vino veritas", with the amazing sensations of simple textures turning in my hands. I know I'll be judged because of this - but the fact is I simply don't care. Not now, not ever.
It would seems that I have trouble grasping the simple reality surrounding me. My brains are telling me that she was not as perfect as I think she was, that there were good reasons why I felt as I did. That she is surely happier now. There's also this mathematical and philospohical truth - what are the chances that one of the first girls I went out with, is _the_ one. But nontheless I can't stop thinking about her. I think the most interesting thing is, that I probably never tought about her this much in our whole relationship as I am thinking about her now.
It simply doesen't make any sense, yet this is how I feel, this is how it is. There's not a single thing I wouldn't give for a second (err, actually a bit more than that) chance to make her happy, but I guess there's no need for that as she is happy now, hopefully way happier than I could ever make her.
Even tho that words will never be able to convey these feelings in full, there's a lot of things I thought about puting in here, but in the end it doesen't really matter - I'm just venting these things to the general public because...
Hope you won't feel less about me because of this public display of feelings. I was never good enough, and I'll probably never be. But because of you I strive to improve every day.
Be happy, "Live Long and Prosper" and "Thanks for all the fish".