Voyage Voyage 04.09.2015
As a continutaion of In Vino Veritas (after many drafts), that no one wanted, I feel the need to vent my feelings again. Mostly because you, after all those years, after all those obstacles don't wish to talk to me.
Here I am, tarnishing my sanity for a chance to display my feelings toward someone that will probably never "look back". It's quite funny feeling actually.
I guess it's hard to accept, even now after all this time, that I have been replaced for someone better. I think that I finally came to the core reason why I cannot forget and why you forgot so easly. Once upon a time I tought that you actually didn't forget, but now I understand that the only thing that matters is happiness - history and everything that goes with it is easly forgot. I really do try to forget, but for me history does matter - and from the looks of it, present and future reputition doesen't amount to the same weight.
Funny thing is, that I probably never tought about it as much as I do now. I'm just somehow content in the knowledge that you're happy. And besides, most of this no-fun public shaming that I'm bestowing upon myself could be avoided if I could only tell you this in private.
Goodbye my sanity (and reputition, woohoo!), goodbye my lover. I'm not as rational as I tought I was - and suprisingly I don't care. There're a lot of things I don't understand, there're a lot of people that won't understand this, I'm not sure that I understand it - but writing my feelings down is what feels right now. I'm sure to regret it later, but let's go with the flow.